Well, first off, let me give you a big, loud, overly Mid-western, girly "OHMUHGAWD!!! YOU DID IT! CONGRATULATIONS!!!" on your wedding this Friday with Prince William. Monarchy, media, rumors aside, you two just looked lovely together, and it was endearing to see how attentive William was to you and how much you knocked his socks off when he saw you for the first time.
And I'm not gonna lie, I loved that a lip reader tried to decipher what was said between you too. Though it was a bit creepy.
At least it wasn't something dirty like, "I can't wait to get you home and ride you like a polo pony" or something like that. Cause that would have just been weird. Several million people would have had to sit there in awkwardness for about a good 10-15 minutes. I'm glad that didn't happen. Smart move William. Smart move.
But, let me get to my main point: your gown and your flowers. Cause, that's what I'm about, don't get me wrong, you and Will are darling, but seriously. Let's talk the pretty stuff.
1. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for wearing full sleeves. I know you were required to wear sleeves (though apparently a lot of mainstream media didn't...morons.), but you have no idea what this has (hopefully) done for the wedding industry. I swear, wedding gown designers and seamstresses have forgotten how to design and attach sleeves anymore. Seems like all that they can do is strapless, halter, or spaghetti straps. Can we say, boring? I was over it ages ago (mostly cause my body type does not lead itself well to strapless). So thank you for doing that, you have proven that sleeves and a wedding gown go beautifully well together.
2. Are we telepathically connected? Cause...well...I really don't know what the hell I'm going to do whenever I get married. Everyone now is going to say I'm just trying to rip off your wedding. All of the flowers and trees being selected for their meaning and how it is appropriate to your and William's relationship? Ah-mazing. I love the language of flowers. The Sweet William alone was just a sickeningly sweet moment, but the fact you took so much care and thought into selecting flowers that are not only indigenous to the UK but have meaning (beyond Red Rose for Love...so over done) is so above and beyond what most people would even fathom. Was it me, or was that the Art Historian in you? Regardless, it was brilliant and made everything just that much more wonderful because of the careful thought and care you put into your wedding.
3. 10 points for taking a cue from your grandmother-in-law, no doubt, for using so much symbolism in your gown and flowers. I loved that QEII used to do that all the time with her gowns as well, the bumble bee gown was a personal favorite.
4. Don't listen to people who tell you your gown was 1. too simple (it's all in the details. I understand. White on white does not get picked up well by cameras, no matter how Hi-Def they are). 2. Not fashion forward enough (um...do they even know who you are? I mean, don't get me wrong, you always look lovely. But you're a "Classic and Sophisticated" and not "Fashionista". A royal wedding is not a time to make a fashion statement.) 3. Made you look older. Um. No. That's just not true. Plus, you're not 18 or 20. You're a 29 year old woman. A lot of women are on their second marriage and 2nd or 3rd kid by 29...at least where I come from. That ages you, not a wedding gown.
5. OHMYGAWD. The tailoring of your gown killed me. I died. It was such a smart move going with Sarah Burton. Alexander McQueen (Rest his soul) taught her well. Oh. The tailoring. I get giddy thinking about it and how she had the lace design match up on your bodice...and how well it fit...oh...giddy..giddy..
6. I think, for a future Queen, it was brilliant to have the flowers of England, Wales, Scotland, and N. Ireland to make up the lace of your gown and veil. Well played m'dear. Well. Played.
7. Did you geek out over the tiara? Or did you geek out over the tiara? Did you play a game of Pretty Pretty Princess with your sister and replace the game tiara with the Cartier Halo Tiara?
...Cause I totally would have.
7. Were you tempted to go Bridezilla on B&E? Or did it provide you some comedic relief after you got down the aisle?
Well, Kate, that's all I got for now. Congratulations again on gettin' hitched. You two were just way to damn cute together.
...But for the sake of history...please don't name your first daughter Mary. Why? Well...I'm just starting to get a bit freaked out that we have a Henry VIII situation on our hands. Your name is Catherine. Your husband's name is William ARTHUR, who is in line to become King and who has a younger, tall, red headed, brother named HENRY.
Just...yeah...don't name your daughter Mary..Ok? Please? I don't think my brain could handle it.
Hugs and Kisses!